Schiefe Zähne

Schliemannstr. 37 
10437 Berlin
by appointment only 

+49 (0) 179 1204102



Angharad Williams
Without the Scales 
exhibition is postponed until further notice 
On View
my thoughts are a combination of sex and the (deep) desire to kill myself
March 1st – April 10th 2020

my thoughts are a combination of sex and the (deep) desire to kill myself
March 1st – April 10th 2020

Colossal Youth

“my thoughts are a combination of sex and the (deep) desire to kill myself”

Maybe feminism can crack the nuts of this everlasting dualism of sex and violence. Simultaneously this binarity is still the driving force of thousands of movie-plots as much as part of the constitution of countless adolescences. Interwoven with the feeling of being misunderstood it represents a me-against-the-world logic, that protects some other sentiments from external judgment.

In its fatalistic exaggeration both conditions mark two peaks of a diverse range of emotions whose nuances, in fear of damnation, get crumpled up and trashed into the basket. In confrontation with a late form of capitalism that is extremely hungry for your sentiments, there are a few more reasons not to show them honestly and therefore a couple less opportunities to actually come to terms with them.

Why expose your fucked up inner world to an even more fucked up surrounding? Not yet mentioned: a digital world that would love a reason to see you fall.

The paintings by Lukas Quietzsch uncrease some dismissed feelings and start to work with those in an emphatic, maybe nostalgic way.

Doubtful about the brushstroke’s representational possibilities in terms of a “true” gesture, Quietzsch erases the applied colors by washing them out, applying more, washing them out again. He drags these motifs through his painting, in which every gestural painterly impulse is taken back by a negation of it, until a patina of gestures and their withdrawal results in the picture.

Hannes Schmidt

October 26th – December 14th 2019 

October 27th – December 07th 2019

Look at the landscape hard enough, until it will reveal the molecular basis of historical events! Psychic landscaping, drifting and free-association ... it seems like traveling through time!

Doggerland‘s history resembles the myth of the sunken city of Atlantis. With one difference, one can empirically prove where Doggerland was originally located and where it is today.

The artistic practice of Stephen Suckale (1979, Frankfurt am Main, Germany) humorously explores the structures of historical narratives surrounding architecture and urbanism revealing oddities and untold story lines found in the layers of modernity.
His works shown in the exhibition Doggerland consist of images showing architectural references laser printed on found fabrics that mostly read as home textiles. The original print of the fabrics shows floral patterns with watercolour-like brushstrokes. The images that have been transferred onto the fabric cover these patterns partially – darker areas sit on top of it, lighter and white areas leave more space for the floral depictions. Both prints are starting to merge into a new structure. The toner that is used to depict Suckale‘s self-made and found-footage imagery oscillates between a de- piction of visual space and the used toner itself as material, as paint. The size of the fabric parts is reminiscent of torn magazine pages.

Left wall

Upper section
- 33 Thomas Street, Verizon, a brutalist building by architect John Carl Warnecke built in 1974, was used by the govern- ment as a highly secure datacenter. (New York City, East Coast, USA)

Middle section
- A series of cakes represent architectural designs from various decades: an ionic column, a medieval castle, gothic arches and so on.

Lower section
- 140 New Montgomery, Pacific Telephone & Telegraph Company Building/ Bell Building, is an Art Deco style office tower (San Francisco, West Coast, USA)

Right wall

A patchwork of images from two different urban planning projects in the north and south of London:

- Letchworth is a garden city founded in 1903, a prototype utopian vision for order function self-sufficiently the city had it‘s on industry. The idea of the garden city movement was initiated in 1898 by Ebenezer Howard in the United Kingdom and aims to capture the primary benefits of a countryside environment and a city environment while avoiding the dis- advantages presented by both to create an alternative to the industrial city by combining the best of town and country living.

- Woolwich, a formerly important naval, military and industrial town, won a prize for the 2014‘s worst building – the Tesco building, a supermarket topped with flats – is described by the judges as ‚oppressive, arrogant and inept.‘ After a long era of of economic hardship and social deprivation, the region is lately identified as ‚opportunity area‘ in the so-cal- led ‚London Plan‘ a spatial development strategy for the greater London area.

Ariane Müller
September 7th – October 18th 2019

Other Places (Singer Sargent), 2019

Other Places (K. Witz Perle), 2019

Other Places (Japanese street style), 2019

Other Places (n.a.), 2019

Other Places (Velvet jacket 2019), 2019

Other Places (Rembrandt), 2019

Other Places (Turtleneck), 2019

Other Places (Vernon Lee), 2019

Other places (red stripe), 2019

Other places (to my friend), 2019

Other places (green), 2019

Other Places (the blue shirt), 2019

Other Places (silk dress), 2019

Other Places (Prinzenbad), 2019

For the last three years I have been working on comedy, and on a big rolling laughter I had envisioned feminism could be. Then maybe out of biographical reasons this summer I started to draw other places where gender is not discernible or only because of individual choices. It also started with the anger I felt seeing a 17th century moralistic image of damnation of a woman being painted as a skeleton, and my wish was to surround her with other people so as to wish her well somewhere. 

Ariane Müller is an artist from Berlin born in Vienna (Ha!). She is one of the co-editors of the art magazine Starship and published her first novel Handbuch für die Reise durch Afrika (Manual for traveling through Africa) in 2013 about her many years of work for the Nairobi-based UN organisation UN-HABITAT. 




June 22th – August 2nd 2019


Half a Frame Breaker, 2019



Clamshell, 2019



Orange pill, 2019



Inceltears, 2019



Irresponsible Orgasm, 2019


Ei, 2019


Schamkapsel, 2019


Fledge Lord, 2019


Be the best that you can be

„Here he hands me a blob of gummy silicone. It’s too large for me to get my fingers around and has the texture of fine sand. ‚Then we put it back in. Point of the story is, you double the size of somebody’s testicles.‘“ 1

I wanna bring out my inner Diva

Im zentralen Wettbewerb einer Casting Show, ist das Thema DILF: Dads i’d like to frock (abgeleitet von DILF: Dad I’d like to fuck). Die Teilnehmerinnen bekommen je einen männlichen Gast zugewiesen, ihre Aufgabe besteht darin diesen für die spätere Bühnenshow in eine schwangere Frau in Umstandsmode zu verwandeln.

Die spätere Gewinnerin der Staffel, Sharon, bekommt dabei den 6-fachen Vater und 3-fachen Großvater Michael als Partner, der beruflich im Bereich ‚law enforcement‘ tätig war. Im folgenden Prozess der verwandelt sich Michael in eine Art Freak der, teils in eigener Kleidung, teils mit Perücken behangenen und umgeschnallten Riesenbrüsten im Arbeitsraum herumspringt, lüstern an seinen neuen Nippeln herumspielt und sich dabei über die Lippen leckt. Uhh, Baby! Wackelig auf High-heels im Raum umherstapfend macht er anzügliche Bemerkungen. Are you getting hard or is this a phone in your pocket?Ausgestattet mit der Attrappe eines Schwangerschaftsbauchs witzelt Michael, er sei mit einem Babyelefanten schwanger und fragt, ob der Showmaster dessen Rüssel sehen wolle. I think I’m having a baby elephant, you wanna see his trunk? Sharon bezeichnet ihn später entnervt als DILK: Dad I’d like to kill. 2

Die Verpackung des männlichen Geschlechts

„Die Form der Braguette ist variantenreich, vor allem nimmt ihre Dimension bemerkenswerte Ausmaße an. Wie die gesamte Tracht, weisen auch die Schamkapseln unterschiedliche Schlitzmuster, beispielsweise Sterne und Mondsicheln auf, die mit farbigen Stoffen unterlegt sind. Zudem werden sie des Öfteren mit riesigen Schleifen geschmückt. Der Zeitgenosse Fischart beschreibt diese kindskopfgrossen Sinnbilder männlichen Protz- und Potenzgebahrens als „Ochsenköpfe“, Hundsfidelbögen, Schneckenhäuslein.“ 3


2 Aus Notizen zur 10. Folge der 4. Staffel (2012) der TV Serie ‚RuPauls Drag Race‘ (Hannes Schmidt)

3 Wolter, Gundula: “Die Verpackung des männlichen Geschlechts. Eine illustrierte Kulturgeschichte der Hose“ Jonas Verlag, Marburg 1988

April 25th – June 7th 2019 

Untitled (Tigre Parisien), 2019 Encaustic on canvas, 50x60cm


Untitled (Vertrauen), 2019, Encaustic on canvas, 180x210cm


Untitled (Wahlurnen; Multiple Choice), 2019 Microcrystalline wax on cardboard, metal light fixtures, dimensions variable


Untitled (Landschaft mit Lethe), 2019 Encaustic on panel 64x53cm


Untitled (Versuch Adler zu werden, Misslungen.), 2018 Microcrystalline wax on cardboard, 78x70cm


Europa 2, 2019 Microcrystalline wax on magazine page, wax tear, dimensions variable


Nikolas Gambaroff


Schiefe Zähne is pleased to present an exhibition by Nikolas Gambaroff (b. 1979) consisting of new paintings and sculptures, a mixed media collage, a tear made out of wax, and an arrangement of light fixtures that used to frame the neon bulbs in the artists Kurfürstendamm studio, now the construction site for the development of an exclusive shopping center, boutique hotel and „cultural site“ appropriately called Fürst – happily over-identifying with symbols of power, tradition and „Heimat“.



Erste Fassung


Laß in der Wahrheit immerdar
Mich bleiben

Niemals im Unglük,

                             aber zu singen

Ihr Wohnungen des Himmels

                      wo sie den Tempel gebaut
Und Dreifuß und Altar

                      herab von den Gipfeln

                           zu singen den Helden

Deutsche Jugend – Zorn der alten Staaten –

                                                  hat ein Bürger


(from an unfinished hymn by Friedrich Hölderlin)


April 6th – 27th 2019

Schiefe Zähne hosted by WSCHÓD
FOAF Warsaw 2019 

shopping mall on dmt, 2019


millenial headspace (the self), 2019


phone dick (chillax), 2019


Alcohol > Weed > Coke > Crack > Crystal, 2019


Vapid mind games, 2019


I got soul but I ́m not a soldier, 2019


Sad bastard Internet troll wannabe, 2019


Profit is the logical sequence, 2019


COMA, 2019



Central Fantasy

February 22nd – April 13th 2019 


Central Fantasy

The central fantasy makes things coherent.

A     A study showed that people who reported having recovered memories (rather than always having remembered) of being abducted where more prone to inventing false memories. They would have the test subjects memorise a list of words for instance “cookie” and “sugar”. They would then test them again after a period of time and insert associated words that where not previously there like “sweet”. The people with recovered memories of abuse where more likely to report that the new words had been part of the original list.

The speakers can transmit. 
Two to mirror the symmetry of the body
to model a multidimensional space. 

A     I thought it was quite interesting the thing about memory. That people who tend not to remember those things have more fluid memories. So it’s kind of about the way that trauma effects you to have more fluid memories. Maybe it makes your mind more prone to remembering things in a different way as a coping mechanism. You’re more prone to inject things into your memory that aren’t there but that probably also makes you more likely to be able to forget things and more able to reshape your reality. 

B     It must be confusing to them to have all those tests performed on them by aliens and then being tested by humans as well. It’s interesting to think about what the escape is from, wether it is about using the fantasy of alien abduction to escape reality on this earth or the other way around.

The central fantasy of being loved.

A     Its strange the way they describe the scenes because it is like they are being abused but at the same time they see a higher purpose in it. They feel the ufos have chosen them because they are special. I guess it’s a way where if you have been abused you can still embrace something positive about it. It’s a way to not just see themselves as victims.

B     I don’t think it’s just a metaphor for that though, they also talk about secret networks of power which I think is quite a real idea. Like there are kind of networks of power just through culture and religion and stuff like that

The central fantasy of being humiliated. 

A     If you’re the victim of abuse then there is always a power structure and you’re at the bottom of it. You need to be able to define that. You need to be able to define the power and your place in relation to the structure in order to make sense of what has happened to you. You need to define what abuse and what being a victim is, and that’s always about a dynamic. 

Plants purify the air.

A     There is ambiguity built into the abduction stories where it’s all about trying to figure out what the ufos are doing. The abducted people don’t know exactly what is going on but there are all these different narratives about why the aliens are doing it.

B     What are some of the common ones?

Channeling something from some other time and place. Even the slight lag in time due to transmission will be noticeable. 

A     A popular narrative is that it’s about technology transfer. But then there are also ones that have a more spiritual emphasis where its about the spiritual development of earth. I think there are a lot of technological metaphors, that people are being inserted with chips and things like that.

What goes out and what goes in, system input/output.

A     One woman I listened to also thought she had alien DNA and was on earth to deliver a spiritual message and had a special status. 

A     I guess that’s a problem with it, it seems like they are trying to formulate an idea of a power structure but it expands beyond that to deconstructing reality itself. Its like extending the idea of reality quite far it’s almost like looking at it from an animals perspective or something like that. In the sense of the level of understanding in relation to what is happening. Like an animal would be tested by humans for purposes it doesn’t understand. Its constructing a higher power. Its interesting that it all comes from the mind, that the mind can create a higher instance than itself. That is a spiritual thing I guess, to make sense of your situation like that. 

The world is fragmented as much as it is not. 
The sense of coherence comes from the inside out.

On View: November 29th 2018 – January 19th 2019 

The whole seen through a hole

Hands are framing a section of a larger visual continuity. While a film or a photograph might be seen as a cropped piece of the visible world a painting doesn’t cut away from a larger context.

To use thumbs and index fingers to shape L’s and then twist your wrists until the L’s match up to form a rectangle reminds me of an ambitious photographer approaching their target before the assistant hands over the camera for final execution.

Double L-shaping could be considered a bit anal, whereas the one handed, laid back way of cropping makes the hand look like an anus. An interesting point of view onto the world - from within, so to say.

The depicted hand looks flat, almost alien with its missing fingers, though it is still in human proportion. The yellow / pink painting displays some extra fingers, thus making it look slightly more human. I’m wondering if an alien would care about photography and painting or its differences in any way.

If a painting does not depict a crop of the visible world it obviously does not show a moment in time either. Rather, it displays a moment in the live of the painter: the amount of time spent on painting the picture, possibly including all the time ever invested in painting. Let’s just say the ignorant alien who neither cares about our conception of time gets a lesson here about some of our human concerns.

This alien now is in the know that paintings can be long-term exposures with nothing ‚real‘ to depict. Rather, the painter might be concerned with creating illusions, in this case: a hand imitating the shape of a viewfinder. Paint gets shifted around until the (human) eye accepts some kind of ‚likeness‘, a depiction of something real.

In these various ways of depicting; of hardly depicting; of completely denying any similarity to anything; of referring to something else but the visible we are looking back onto the history of ‚ways of doing this‘ as well as onto a history of reasons for ‚doing it at all‘.

Hannes Schmidt





Red Eye


Hand Camera





October 26th 2018 – November 23rd 2018


Dear Hannes
Saturday, September 15th – October 20th 2018


Dear Sophie (U ain’t You)

Can’t explain on how much higher
level of respect you are for me
On a whole other level
You – always – will – be

Us now finally cashin’ in – big time
But them, they do not know
this special kind of currency
Can – you – not – see?

Bang a hole in the wall
throw some paintings through
This is how we do
that’s the shortcut to success –uhh

We’re tingling dingeling dangling
and answering questions unasked
We’re tingling dingeling dangling
stupid questions will be stuffed up their ass

Our love is how we played ’em dizzy
System is sooo confused –
It really thinks it’s named ‚Sissy‘
That’s how badly it got seduced

So – u really ask for permission
We don’t have fuckin ́ permission
But can u not see by now
The rules we don’t even know

We’re answering questions unasked
Sell them stuff they don’t know they wanted
They never ask the price
They simply know they’ve got it

We’re tingling dingeling dangling
and answering questions unasked
We’re tingling dingeling dangling
stupid questions will be stuffed up their ass

Ain’t a whole lotta trans – par – en – cy
Plenty o’room for some guessing
What are that games rules again?
Shitty salad with fancy dressing

Don’t try to tell me what’s the rules
U so confused about what are the rules
So until you hear from my lawyer
Ur mysticism ain’t my paranoia

Quite empty your gestures – (at best)
All habits performed rather whack
Ohhh, a memory comes back:
Look like Uniqlo Shirts, thrown back on the stack

May integrity shart it’s panties
Bbs, never ask for permission to speak
Let haters hate for what ever reason
Your humor is dirty n deep

We’re tingling dingeling dangling
and answering questions unasked
We’re tingling dingeling dangling
stupid questions will be stuffed up their ass

And tomorrow in the early morning
We’ll watch our baby shoot some hoops
while u others pissdrunk n sleeping
on the Ringbahn doin’ loops

Feelings you don’t make your prisoners
Stick to your dreams and ideas
keep shouting at cars in traffic
you got laughs babes, you got the keys

Like Mel Gibson (the wanker!) in Braveheart
The prisoner wishes to say a word:
A word y’all might’ve heard

`nuff said

We’re tingling dingeling dangling
and answering questions unasked
We’re tingling dingeling dangling
stupid questions will be stuffed up their ass




Stuart Middleton, Richard Sides and Angharad Williams
with 3fragments, Iris Bauer and Theo Burt

August 18th – 31st 2018



Video forms the main fabric of BUG OUT, a split screen documented journey snaking through Berlin’s tourist locations.

Interspersed throughout the timeline is footage sourced from the internet that relates to our conversations around high and low class modes of travel, fake news, tourist behaviour and hyper- mechanical reproduction.

The different temporalities of tourism - the city-break; live/work ex-pat cultural class; overseas experiencer all reveal contradictions embedded in the fabled journey of ‘finding one’s self’.

Reproducing the same images of the same locations. The Eiffel Tower exists on countless SD cards, and is scattered all over the internet. Why leave the house?

We collaboratively wrote a monologue taking inspiration from the relentless, in-character trip taken by actor Kip Pardue as “Viktor”, directed by Roger Avary for the 2002 film, Rules of Attraction (based on the Brett Easton Ellis book of the same name). “Viktor takes a trip” - to Europe, and the hedonistic montage reveals an privileged college student. As the ultimate experiencer, he kills time until encounters manifest themselves. A self induced existential crisis concludes his trip. “I no longer know who I am, and I feel like the ghost of a total stranger.“

Trust the tale not the teller.

Different creative processes respond to these ideas in a variety of ways. Iris Bauer (alobhe) was invited to make audio works in response to footage sourced from the internet as well as contributing an audio visual clip of a festival campsite at the break of dawn. Cut-up day-tripper narratives are seen overlaid with a chopped and screwed frenetic audio mix.

From 2005-2010, frictions between young local gangs in the suburbs of Glasgow and across the Scottish central belt (yung teams, fleeto(s), sqwads) bled onto YouTube, in the form of diss (as in disrespect) mixes and photo montages. Hardcore rather than hiphop provides the backing for call- outs between groups, fuelling/enjoying the conflict. In their original format these uploads are characterised by their spontaneous low fidelity. Theo Burt has selected and meticulously edited the audio components as well as transcribing the vocals.

Athens based musician 3fragments (Marion Goix) has contributed in the form of a mix comprising of field recording, original music and a testimony which threads through the video both with visuals and without.

Duration approx. 32 mins, includes audio and visual components.


Mud Ladder

June 23rd – July 27th, 2018 



Mud Ladder

June 23rd – July 27th, 2018 

Scenario for a straight-to-laptop television series taking a cue from Anders Johansson’s new series of paintings. 

An influenza during a long-winded rain period puts an unexpected end to society as we know it. Weakened and left fending for ourselves, and since we forgot everything, most of us die straight away except for a tiny sliver of humanity, which is left to carry on the whole thing with a knife and a campfire and some boring books with broken backs. After a really long fucking time mankind is back in the game. This cycle repeats again and again until we crash-zoom in onto the sweaty back of a hot single woman in a pre-flood jungle slashing her way through the underbrush. This strong blazing head making new trails – we can call her Sandra – comes across different obstacles on her way. She scales down a steep ravine, stomps on a snake in the grass, quits drinking, and bashes some guy in the head with a rock. When she finally reaches a clearing she installs a new regime with a Neandertaler guy called Nicholas whom she keeps at her bedside in an iron cage. By the time she’s ready to retire, dissent and corruption has already spread throughout the entire body politic. She broods on it. Is it local, or is it systemic? Concessions are made: a communal diet (where grain and dairy are pretty much verboten), and a haul-ass work discipline.

Sandra gathers her last will (and energy) and tracks down a big garbage dump from history. She finds a cache of hemp and bamboo under a wrecked train and strings together a ladder. She squints up through the steam at the sun until she finds a landing on the hacksawed ridge. She mounts the ladder onto the landing and stands there for a second. We zoom out and start panning to the right. We see an enormous grid made up of the exact same picture frame, an army of little Sandras getting ready to climb and we realize we’re inside the body of a person and that person is sitting around the campfire with the knife and some boring books and some broken backs. 

Man lebt zweimal: das erste in der wirklichkeit, das zweite in der erinnerung 

— mel gibson

Text by Erik Lavesson

Helene Fauquet

Ryan Siegan Smith



La Colline

May 05th – June 15th 2018


Die dritte Person

January 20th – March 23rd, 2018 

Die dritte Person

left side:

image, natural, drama, man, life, wind, boredom, isolation, handsome, q&d, freedom, vangogh, desire
image, natural, drama, property, delimit, reproduce, advertising, mercedes, conserving, clear,
satisfaction, hope, hopepapers
image, natural, drama, bird, friendly, pencildrawing,  ower, naive, chagall, dearly, evening,
conversation, sunrise, sunset
image, natural, drama, bauhaus, construction, entire, geometric, schlemmer, ultrayellow, hope,
progress, delimit, mot, believe, bluescreen, sky, future
image, natural, drama, humanplant, longing, wrong, dimension, bummer, decision, A5, fragment,
motivation, inhabitant, hope
image, natural, drama, children, polity, thread, above-average, plantation, ecosphere, capital,
performance, forbidden, harvest, sexuality, collective, river
image, natural, drama, story, nighttime, bar, billard, barock, refusal, history, imitation, adult,
beer, boredom, smoke, desire
image, natural, drama, village, mother, boy, resistance, feininger, tubism, empathy,

right side:

image, natural, drama, father, girl, daring, prison, bald, touch, love, delaunay, protection,
prophylaxes, aware, violation, harm
image, natural, drama, story, paris, kitchen, imagination, sensitive, love, choreography, isolation,
stereotype, clean, water
image, natural, drama, chicago, event, game, private, untrained, avantgarde, love, skin, replace,
accusation, control, chagall, communication, fade
image, natural, drama, mellow, acute, glas, bird,  y, fall, immediate, sight, spectator, differance,
grateful, shy, underrated
image, natural, drama, others, situation, voyeuristic, behavior, kirchner, city, bw, afterwards,
gray, 1900
image, natural, drama, trader, desert, meltdown, cute, emotion, reveal, exhaustion, dowjones, right,
wrong, relieve, payout

Erika Land ström

May I owe you?


October 27th – December 15th, 2017



September 15th – October 18th, 2017

Schiefe Zaehne 
Schliemannstr. 37 
10437 Berlin

Slyth erin



                  S omeone said the times they are a-changin’, ... Sha

        L a la la la laa la la la -

    Y es they are, or are they.

       T ime and time again, a

           H eavy scent of rage -

                  E mpire: ‘Imperio!’

                        R esting in a dream-like state

                  I ‘m on the inside looking outside, what do I see

          N uch confusion, disillusion, all around me.

‘ nuff said.




Zeit mit Sarajevo

July 01 – August 06, 2017

Then I stepped out into the dark, my guts in agony (Installation), 2017 

Schiefe Zähne
Schliemannstr. 37 
10437 Berlin

Then I stepped out into the dark, my guts in agony (1-3), 2017

A mystery of love rests in metal (1), 2017

A mystery of love rests in metal (2), 2017

A mystery of love rests in metal (3), 2017

A mystery of love rests in metal (4), 2017


Time with Sarajevo

It happened fast. My yellow baseball cap, stolen from my father, fell into the toaster and the filaments braised a big hole into the casing. This accelerated the deterioration of the now almost 20- year-old cap (summer games request Sarajevo?) and it was soon lost. Every time I wore it, I felt a special connection to my father. Buying baseball caps is more complicated than buying clothing for the torso, arms, legs. Old ones are better than new. In May, when the sun started to shine stronger again, I began to look for one. On eBay, only used, not that many. Went to a couple of department stores, not ready for the Woolworth bling. The caps in the hobby shop had nice colors, but were too small.

My second hand store at the corner:
“Do you have baseball caps? I need something to cover my head.”
“Wait a moment I believe we had two.”
The old saleswoman, type Berlin bark at its finest, has a look around, doesn’t find anything, looks surprised. She chats with her male visitor, also about 55 years old. A woman holding a cellphone to her ear comes inside and looks through the articles on the clothes hangers.
“Il me dit, elle me fait...”
I start to look through the silk scarf box.
“There’s only scarves in there.”
“Maybe there’s something in between. Oh here. A wool cap.”
Too small

“Tu sais il me dit...”
I give up and make social noises with the male visitor.
“Il me dit...” scanning blouses. The Bark herself begins to rummage through the silk scarves.
“Tu sais il me dit...”
No T-shirt for me here. She’s up to her shoulders in the silk scarf-pool.
"Je me dis..." leans over the saleswoman into the belt and bag barrel behind her.
“I’ve had enough of you. Can’t you wait. I’ve got no room here. And if you have to talk on the phone the whole time, then go outside.”
“Je me dis...”, the dark-skinned woman leaves. “Always this family. I find it incredibly exhausting. Good she’s gone outside.”
Scraping time.
A shoulder in the silk scarf glitter-barrel.
“Ah here’s one. I knew it.”
“Thank you.” The cap is a bit ugly, dark blue/dark green checkers, golf logo and a thick synthetic fabric that’s supposed to look fancy, but doesn’t really manage.
“It’s too small for me. I can barely get it on my head.” Male Visitor knows how to make it bigger. It fits, just need to bend the bill to minimize the pressure on my forehead.

“Now it fits. One problem less. How much is it?” “1€ please.”

It’s 30°C. We’ve gone swimming at the Karpfenteich. Miranda swims and swims and swims. Kamilla and I stand calf-deep in the water in the sun to dry off in front of the fashionable French girls, some topless, kissing. I put on my new cap. Still too hot.
Let's go to Halbschatten, the half-shade. Miranda, all grin, gets out of the water. Lies down. A woman with a headscarf bathes with her 3-year-old daughter.
“I am swimming today for the third time.”
“It is so great that it is right next to your studio. You can go for morning swims.”
“Yes. That is what I did today.”
Miranda looks at my cap.
“Have you been there?”
“The golf course. St. Andrews in Scotland.”
I look at my cap.
“Ah no.”
“I think it is the one that Donald Trump owns.” “No, I haven't been there.”

Lukas Quietzsch 

Makel und Schimpf 

April 21 – May 22, 2017



Schiefe Zaehne
Schliemannstr. 37
10437 Berlin

Ok, I’m just going to post this here,
because I’m so annoyed!
First of all: I am moving out on SAT and am super happy about it and that’s why I’m definitely not cleaning any dirty dishes, even if they all start smelling, because I AM SOON OUT OF HERE!
What I would really like to know is if any of you feel the same way. This is my 4th shared flat and in no other shared flat have I ever experienced so many problems in the washing up department.
We are 4 people (2m, 2f), when I first moved in everything worked out: after max. 1-2 days
I washed my stuff up including everything else around. It would’ve been silly to leave just one glass behind because it’s not mine. 1 roommate would do the dishes right after cooking, and do all of them. Sometimes the other roommate would wait a couple of days but then he’d also clean up. (It was definitely still acceptable.). Unfortunately that guy moved out and this other guy moved in and immediately threw a housewarming party
(He was only subletting.) and left everything out for over a week. Until the other roommate washed it all up because it bugged him so much. It bugged me too, a lot actually, but I didn’t see why I should have to clean up after this guy. In retrospect I wonder if the stuff would have still be left out 2 months later...
Meanwhile my female roommate has become the biggest problem: since 3 months now she’s had a new boyfriend and only comes over to sleep and cook. So they come over and cook, eat in the living room and leave everything out. Everyone was too nice to complain, in hindsight this was a mistake,
I know. The other roommate grinds his teeth and cleans up her shit, I’ve become practiced in feigning ignorance (Although I don’t always manage.) and the third guy isn’t exactly tidy and clean. Although even he’s gotten annoyed with her! (But of course nobody can tell her, nooo, way too stressful!)
The latest is: I went away for 4 weeks, and when
I got back the kitchen was full of dirty dishes. Now more than a week has passed and they’re still there! Right now it’s just me and her in the flat. I barely see her though and the others aren’t complaining of course because they’re not here. The whole kitchen is full of her dishes, if I need anything I usually have to wash it first. Lately I’ve started immediately washing anything I use even if it’s just a knife. We have a board where we can leave each other messages because we often don’t see each other for days. I wrote her a (friendly) note, if she could please do the dishes, because they’re slowly starting to smell. Yesterday she’s in the kitchen cooking, getting more stuff dirty, and says to me,
oh yeah I really need to wash up! But she didn’t, something came up... In the evening her boyfriend’s sitting there and they’re eating casserole, today the stuff’s still left out on the table, to clean it up would be unthinkable, and there’s no more room in the kitchen anyways... This morning I went into the kitchen and almost p***d, an old pot smelled so bad, it’s totally disgusting! There was water in it soaking and it must have been in there for a week. I emptied it and put in new water. I mean, I’m sorry, but this has definitely reached a point where I refuse to clean up. That was gross enough and my fingers smell now thanks to that god-awful even after I washed them a couple of times with soap. Stupid bitch!!!
I write another, clearer message on the board: “You really need to do the dishes, the whole kitchen stinks!!!” I can hear her come in with her boyfriend, get something, leave again. Great...she is never here, otherwise I would really go and knock on her door and say “Do it now please!”
I don’t get it... We don’t have any problem with each other, before the question. And I’m always very friendly, she is too, that makes the whole thing more difficult, if she was a silly cow I would just get nasty. Maybe I should get angry?
The kitchen is in a state... I’ve already told the girl who I’m renting the room from that I will only clean up her room when I move out and nothing else. (And the dishes I’ve used of course.) As I’ve been gone for 4 weeks and don’t see why I should clean up after other people who haven’t cleaned in months!
GRRR!!! I would love to stick that stinky pot in her room!!! To be born by only one mother is the wrong way.

Lukas Quietzsch

Makel und Schimpf 

Schiefe Zähne
Schliemannstr. 37 
10437 Berlin

open by appointment: +49 (0) 179 1204102

Schiefe Zähne