Upcoming

 

Lucie
Stahl

Henning
Bohl

SLYTHERIN'

LUCIE STAHL and HENNING BOHL

September 15th – October 18th, 2017

Schiefe Zaehne 
Schliemannstr. 37 
10437 Berlin 
info@schiefe-zaehne.com

NICO IHLEIN

Zeit mit Sarajevo

July 01 – August 06, 2017

Then I stepped out into the dark, my guts in agony (Installation), 2017 

Schiefe Zähne
Schliemannstr. 37 
10437 Berlin 
info@schiefe-zaehne.com


Schiefe
Zähne

Then I stepped out into the dark, my guts in agony (1-3), 2017


Schiefe
Zähne

A mystery of love rests in metal (1), 2017

A mystery of love rests in metal (2), 2017

A mystery of love rests in metal (3), 2017


Zeit
mit
Sara
jevo

A mystery of love rests in metal (4), 2017

Time with Sarajevo

It happened fast. My yellow baseball cap, stolen from my father, fell into the toaster and the filaments braised a big hole into the casing. This accelerated the deterioration of the now almost 20- year-old cap (summer games request Sarajevo?) and it was soon lost. Every time I wore it, I felt a special connection to my father. Buying baseball caps is more complicated than buying clothing for the torso, arms, legs. Old ones are better than new. In May, when the sun started to shine stronger again, I began to look for one. On eBay, only used, not that many. Went to a couple of department stores, not ready for the Woolworth bling. The caps in the hobby shop had nice colors, but were too small.

My second hand store at the corner:
“Do you have baseball caps? I need something to cover my head.”
“Wait a moment I believe we had two.”
The old saleswoman, type Berlin bark at its finest, has a look around, doesn’t find anything, looks surprised. She chats with her male visitor, also about 55 years old. A woman holding a cellphone to her ear comes inside and looks through the articles on the clothes hangers.
“Il me dit, elle me fait...”
I start to look through the silk scarf box.
“There’s only scarves in there.”
“Maybe there’s something in between. Oh here. A wool cap.”
Too small

“Tu sais il me dit...”
I give up and make social noises with the male visitor.
“Il me dit...” scanning blouses. The Bark herself begins to rummage through the silk scarves.
“Tu sais il me dit...”
No T-shirt for me here. She’s up to her shoulders in the silk scarf-pool.
"Je me dis..." leans over the saleswoman into the belt and bag barrel behind her.
“I’ve had enough of you. Can’t you wait. I’ve got no room here. And if you have to talk on the phone the whole time, then go outside.”
“Je me dis...”, the dark-skinned woman leaves. “Always this family. I find it incredibly exhausting. Good she’s gone outside.”
Scraping time.
A shoulder in the silk scarf glitter-barrel.
“Ah here’s one. I knew it.”
“Thank you.” The cap is a bit ugly, dark blue/dark green checkers, golf logo and a thick synthetic fabric that’s supposed to look fancy, but doesn’t really manage.
“It’s too small for me. I can barely get it on my head.” Male Visitor knows how to make it bigger. It fits, just need to bend the bill to minimize the pressure on my forehead.

“Now it fits. One problem less. How much is it?” “1€ please.”

It’s 30°C. We’ve gone swimming at the Karpfenteich. Miranda swims and swims and swims. Kamilla and I stand calf-deep in the water in the sun to dry off in front of the fashionable French girls, some topless, kissing. I put on my new cap. Still too hot.
Let's go to Halbschatten, the half-shade. Miranda, all grin, gets out of the water. Lies down. A woman with a headscarf bathes with her 3-year-old daughter.
“I am swimming today for the third time.”
“It is so great that it is right next to your studio. You can go for morning swims.”
“Yes. That is what I did today.”
Miranda looks at my cap.
“Have you been there?”
“Where?”
“The golf course. St. Andrews in Scotland.”
I look at my cap.
“Ah no.”
“I think it is the one that Donald Trump owns.” “No, I haven't been there.”

Lukas Quietzsch 

Makel und Schimpf 

April 21 – May 22, 2017

LUKAS
QUIET
ZSCH

Schiefe Zaehne
Schliemannstr. 37
10437 Berlin
info@schiefe-zaehne.com

Ok, I’m just going to post this here, because I’m so annoyed!

First of all: I am moving out on SAT and am super happy about it and that’s why I’m definitely not cleaning any dirty dishes, even if they all start smelling, because I AM SOON OUT OF HERE!

What I would really like to know is if any of you feel the same way. This is my 4th shared flat and in no other shared flat have I ever experienced so many problems in the washing up department.
We are 4 people (2m, 2f), when I first moved in everything worked out: after max. 1-2 days
I washed my stuff up including everything else around. It would’ve been silly to leave just one glass behind because it’s not mine. 1 roommate would do the dishes right after cooking, and do all of them. Sometimes the other roommate would wait a couple of days but then he’d also clean up. (It was definitely still acceptable.). Unfortunately that guy moved out and this other guy moved in and immediately threw a housewarming party
(He was only subletting.) and left everything out for over a week. Until the other roommate washed it all up because it bugged him so much. It bugged me too, a lot actually, but I didn’t see why I should have to clean up after this guy. In retrospect I wonder if the stuff would have still be left out 2 months later...

Meanwhile my female roommate has become the biggest problem: since 3 months now she’s had a new boyfriend and only comes over to sleep and cook. So they come over and cook, eat in the living room and leave everything out. Everyone was too nice to complain, in hindsight this was a mistake,

I know. The other roommate grinds his teeth and cleans up her shit, I’ve become practiced in feigning ignorance (Although I don’t always manage.) and the third guy isn’t exactly tidy and clean. Although even he’s gotten annoyed with her! (But of course nobody can tell her, nooo, way too stressful!)

The latest is: I went away for 4 weeks, and when
I got back the kitchen was full of dirty dishes. Now more than a week has passed and they’re still there! Right now it’s just me and her in the flat. I barely see her though and the others aren’t complaining of course because they’re not here. The whole kitchen is full of her dishes, if I need anything I usually have to wash it first. Lately I’ve started immediately washing anything I use even if it’s just a knife. We have a board where we can leave each other messages because we often don’t see each other for days. I wrote her a (friendly) note, if she could please do the dishes, because they’re slowly starting to smell. Yesterday she’s in the kitchen cooking, getting more stuff dirty, and says to me,

oh yeah I really need to wash up! But she didn’t, something came up... In the evening her boyfriend’s sitting there and they’re eating casserole, today the stuff’s still left out on the table, to clean it up would be unthinkable, and there’s no more room in the kitchen anyways... This morning I went into the kitchen and almost p***d, an old pot smelled so bad, it’s totally disgusting! There was water in it soaking and it must have been in there for a week. I emptied it and put in new water. I mean, I’m sorry, but this has definitely reached a point where I refuse to clean up. That was gross enough and my fingers smell now thanks to that god-awful even after I washed them a couple of times with soap. Stupid bitch!!!

I write another, clearer message on the board: “You really need to do the dishes, the whole kitchen stinks!!!” I can hear her come in with her boyfriend, get something, leave again. Great...she is never here, otherwise I would really go and knock on her door and say “Do it now please!”

I don’t get it... We don’t have any problem with each other, before the question. And I’m always very friendly, she is too, that makes the whole thing more difficult, if she was a silly cow I would just get nasty. Maybe I should get angry?

The kitchen is in a state... I’ve already told the girl who I’m renting the room from that I will only clean up her room when I move out and nothing else. (And the dishes I’ve used of course.) As I’ve been gone for 4 weeks and don’t see why I should clean up after other people who haven’t cleaned in months!

GRRR!!! I would love to stick that stinky pot in her room!!! To be born by only one mother is the wrong way.

Lukas Quietzsch Makel und Schimpf 

Schiefe Zähne
Schliemannstr. 37 
10437 Berlin 
info@schiefe-zaehne.com


Schiefe
Zähne